Struggles Faced by Working Moms

mother-daughter-1How many working moms would have a dull yet persistent pain in your hearts because you have to work full time instead of being able to stay at home to attend your kid’s needs?

I was certainly one of them constantly torn between providing for my daughter financially and being there for her emotionally.

First Major Milestone Achieved

On May 22, 2008, on one very rare occasion, my husband and I both took time off from work to attend my daughter’s graduation from elementary school.  The ceremony was very well organized by her teacher and the Principal.  Kids were all lined up in front of the gym. Parents and other family members were all gathered to witness a major milestone for some 10 or 11 year old.

The ceremony began with a video production created by the kids in the class.  Everyone started off with a collage of pictures to show a personal history from birth/childhood to where they are.  Those innocent faces, beaming smiles, life is so grand for them.

In the mid of the show, my daughter’s turn came up.  I didn’t get a chance to read every word of my daughter’s “Thank You” letter to us and to her teachers due to the fleeting speed.  However, one sentence caught my attention and stirred up a well of emotions in me.  My daughter wrote something like “I’d like to thank my parents for making money to support me although I have to stay at home by myself after school…”

Remorse and Regrets

I should have felt thankful that my daughter is mature enough at age 10 to recognize our efforts to make a decent living for all of us.  On the contrary, my heart was full of remorse and what-ifs. Tears filled my eyes with joy and regrets.  Regrets prevailed coupled with series of lingering thoughts and questions.


What if I have had stayed at home full time when my daughter needed me?  What if I could have participated in every school activity?  What if I could have volunteered at my daughter’s class/school?  What if I have had minimally created a perception of always being available to support my daughter?

Do you have similar struggles?  How would you resolve the conflicting priorities?

Image: Mother Daughter Elephants by

One Response to “Struggles Faced by Working Moms”
  1. Stella Says:

    I can totally relate – but I fundamentally believe that if a parent is happy, then he/she will be a better parent to the children. If you had chosen not to work and instead spend 100% of your time with your kids, would you have been happy and been the best mom you could be? I think both you and I know the answer. Let’s not beat ourselves up! 🙂