Till Death Do Us Part?

Photo by Hannamonika

Photo by Hannamonika

2008 – A Year of Metamorphosis

2008 was a year of metamorphosis for many people.  In my limited circle of friends and families, we collectively witnessed or experienced the death of our loved ones; some lost their jobs due to the recession; others tied their knots with the love of their lives.  One theme stood out the most was couples who had vowed “for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part” had to sever their ties due to irreconcilable differences.

Needless to say there are different variations of the divorce process and story.  To use the word “painful” is really an oxymoron.  The one question that keeps popping up in my mind is that how a couple’s relationship could deteriorate from loving each other to a state of despise and animosity?

Why Broken?

I guess the answer is not that simple.  These are some of the probable causes for divorce:

  1. Couples do grow APART.
  2. Having children has added another layer of complexity to a healthy marriage if not managed properly.
  3. Relationship with step-children poses a challenge for many second-time marriages.
  4. Financial stress definitely takes its toll.
  5. Stumbling upon a new interest of love or infatuation tends to be another cause.
  6. Complacency in the relationship can rock the boat “slowly”, but “deadly”.
  7. Middle-life crisis by men and women can drive people to make drastic changes and to transform their lives for better or worse.
  8. How about  rejection or denial by the hostile in-laws from the get-go?

Undeniably, divorce is a modern phenomenon in the Western culture.  Sadly enough, people in the Orient have caught on with this trend as well.  Long gone are those days when couples remained married for 50 or 60 years whether or not they were happy with each other.  In this day and age, I am not sure if remaining to be married based on formality is the right model to exemplify either.

At What Price?

In the end, what was the price to pay by all involved, especially those children? Is grass really greener on the other side?


P.S. By the way, for those who are in the process of or had just gone through the major shift from marriage to being single again, please check out Elizabeth Gilbert’s memoir entitled Eat, Pray, Love – A woman’s spiritual pilgrimage for an entire year in three diverse countries: Italy, India and Indonesia. These three countries represent her pursuit of pleasure, devotion and balance respectively.   It’s definitely an interesting and thought-provoking read.




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